Monday, March 16, 2009

There is a God! And her name is Bacos.


Fantastic news, everyone. Bacos is not made out of pigs. In fact, bacos is in no way composed of anything even remotely related to meat, a fact which I've always suspected but am elated to have finally confirmed. Now don't get me wrong--there is absoluetly nothing natural about bacos. In fact, I think 45% of the ingredients are man-made, 45% are celestial, and about 10% are of the earth.


These add up to 100% delicious in my book.
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My God, my husband just revealed something divorce-worthy. He doesn't like Bacos. Says he, "They're gross. They don't even taste like bacon." These are the things you don't learn about in those marriage prep classes you have to take. No wonder the divorce rate is 43%. Forget questions like "Do you want to have children?" and "Whose job is it to replace the toilet paper roll?". "Do you like bacon flavored bits of defatted soy flour?" should top the list.

3 comments:

  1. a) Nick was right

    b) Vets kick ass

    c) Your writing is great and she should keep doing it

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bacos are a backup when the supply of real cooked & cured swine flesh runs out.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you need to make a sandwich that involves bacos and baconnaise and let me know how it is. You can put some tofu on it if you want to feel better about yourself. Bacon flavored tofu...

    ReplyDelete

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