Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Soy Boobs

Last night we went out for pizza with some long time real-vegetarian friends (the kind that don't dream about bacos or Arby's). First, they informed me that fish IS meat. I informed them, shut up. Then they warned me about not going overboard with... soy. Now I can see how stuff could go horribly wrong for a newbie carnivore, but I never really thought plant eating as a dangerous thing. Get this, though--it is! Apparently they knew some people who had two or three servings of soy a day for X amount of time, and the guy grew man boobs and the woman's period got all jacked up. All I want to know is, why can't I be the one growing the soy boobs? It hardly seems fair that Steve would get perky new ones while I'm left with my post-breastfeeding saggers.

Vegetarian Day 4:

Breakfast: Went to Dunkin' Donuts. Ordered two jelly doughnuts to make up for the one I forsook on Sunday. Went back for a third. When I approached the counter five minutes later for my fourth doughnut of the day, the lady gave me a free jelly doughnut because I had already eaten four that morning.

Lunch: Hummus on pita bread. Didn't mind lame-o hippie lunch, seeing as how I was still riding high on jelly doughnuts and coffee.

Dinner: Some sort of black bean chili concoction and cornbread.
Amy: What do you think?
Steve: It needs some pork fat. But I could see how if you were a vegetarian you would think this was really good.

Went to the neighbor's house to watch some basketball after dinner. My previously awesome recently turned jerk face neighbor kept offering me things like pepperoni pizza and pigs in blanket. I plan to put termites under his house. The good thing about eating a bowl of floating beans and corn for dinner, though, is that three beers pretty much does you in. Now who's laughing? Me, that's who. Because I'm drunk. Hooray, vegetarianism! My favorite part of the game was the huge banner that read "Beef: It's What's For Dinner." I wish.

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  1. HAHAHAHA!!! I am loving your chronicles of vegetarianism ;-) When you guys are all done with this we'll celebrate with some STEAKS

  2. I loved your comment on Miss Yvonne's blog! Whey is much better!! Good luck with your vegetarianism. Remember to get some protein so you don't get diabetes!!


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