Arrr! Mostly pirated Red Beans and Rice

This was my first go at red beans and rice, so I worked off Alton Brown's recipe. Here it is, with a few modifications and limited commercial interruptions.

Note: It takes a while for red beans and rice to cook, so be sure to plan ahead. Give it at least 2 1/2 hours from start to finish.

Here's What You're Gonna Need:

For red beans:

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 onion, chopped
2 green bell peppers, or mix of orange, yellow and green chopped (I buy a bag of already cut
mixed colored bell peppers at Trader Joe's and keep them in my freezer. They're especially
handy in the winter months, when peppers are expensive.)
3-4 stalks celery, chopped
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

6 cloves garlic, minced

1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon hot sauce
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 quarts water
1 pound red kidney beans, rinsed and with any gross things picked out

For rice:

3 cups water
1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter (or butter-like whatever it is vegan's use-or skip it)
2 cups long-grain rice, white for the real experience, brown for well-being
1/2 to 1 teaspoon kosher salt

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:

Heat vegetable oil over medium-high in a good-sized pot or Dutch oven.

Add the onion, bell pepper, celery, salt and pepper to the pot. Cook, stirring early and often, until the onions and celery are semi-translucent and the bell peppers are tender, about 6-8 minutes.

Add the garlic and cook for 2-3 minutes, stir, stir, stirring.

Bay leaf, thyme, hot sauce, cayenne pepper, water and beans into the pot! Turn up the heat a little so you can get this bad boy boiling. Stir, stir, stir.

Once it's boiling, turn the heat down to medium-low, cover and simmer for about an hour and a half, stirring every once and a while.

It's rice time! Here's how Alton Brown does it, but you can always give the rice a little go in the butter then make it like you usually do. Don't forget to adjust the timing if you're going with brown rice.
Place the water into an electric kettle and bring to a boil. While the water is coming to a boil place the butter into a 3-quart saucepan, set over medium heat. Once the butter begins to bubble, add the rice and stir to combine. Add the salt and cook for 2 to 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Carefully pour the water over the rice and stir to combine. Decrease the heat to the lowest setting, cover, and cook for 15 to 20 minutes.

When the time's up for the beans, take the lid off and, if necessary, turn the heat up a little to keep it simmering. Let it go for another 30-40 minutes or until the beans are tender and the sauce is thickened.

Give it a couple of mashes with a potato masher, but don't go overboard.

Rice goes on the bottom, beans go on top, and wha la! We served it with a side of grilled shrimp seasoned with old bay.

Today's photo taken was taken by Kelly of www.ShootMePretty.com, coming soon. If she can shoot Red Beans and Rice pretty, than she can shoot anything pretty.

Rewrite of Sweet Potato and Black Bean Quesadilla recipe: Now with measurements! Plus idiotic photos of talking potatoes taken by me!

Greens and Beans, the Musical Dish...

Like most grandmas, mine just cooks from the heart and knows exactly what to do as she goes along. Trivial matters such as amounts, timing, etc. matter not because grandmothers just use their 6th sense, the good cookin' one, which makes delicious meals as natural as breathing to them. My grandmother makes a different kind of greens than I do, so the last time I was home I tried to pin her down for the recipe. Here are the notes I took:

Once I got home I looked at this piece of paper, realized it was nonsense, and a subsequent call ensued. Here is my adaptation of her greens recipe, based on what I think she said and what Jesus told me to do. (See Just Barely's Cooking with the Lord)

Grammy's Greens and Beans

Here's What You're Gonna Need:
Note: All amounts are based on, well, nothing at all. Like I said, grandmothers don't work in measurable amounts. They say things like "a couple of handfuls," and "some," and "depending on what you like," and "Do you want a Werther's Original?". This is what works for me. Feel free to adapt at will.

We're going to make a lot here so we can either freeze some or share with our friends and loved ones.

3ish tablespoons extra virgin olive oil (a couple of times around the pan)
4-5 garlic cloves, smashed then finely chopped
2+ teaspoons of crushed red pepper seeds (I like my greens spicy, so I err on the side of more.)

1 onion, chopped

3-4 stalks of celery, chopped, save the leafs if you have them
1/2 head of cabbage, shredded or finely chopped

3 lbs greens, using any combination of greens you want. My favorites are chard, turnip greens, beet greens, and spinach. You can also use collard greens, kale, etc.

1-3 12 oz can of vegetable broth or chicken broth (depending on whether or not your not eating animals includes not drinking them as well), or as much as needed to reach desired consistency. Before getting Grammy's recipe, I always made my greens something you eat with a fork as a side dish. Grammy makes her greens and beans almost into a soup, which is excellent and can serve as a main course. It's up to you.

6ish 12oz cans of the musical fruit. DO NOT DRAIN. Like the greens, there are many combos that will work here. Grammy's top two picks are butter beans and kidney beans so that's how I roll, but great northern and garbonzo beans are fine as well.

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:

Saute the garlic in olive oil over medium low heat until the garlic begins to speak (in tongues is preferable, but if you don't have garlic infused with the holy spirit, making little sizzling noises is okay, too.) Add the hot pepper seeds and saute for one or two minutes longer, being careful that your garlic doesn't burn.

Add the onion and continue to saute for another two minutes, or until onions begin to soften.

Add celery, cabbage and celery leafs and give it another two to three minutes.

Add greens, a couple of handfuls at a time, the toughest kind first. Add broth as you go to help the greens to cook down before you add the next round.

Once the greens have turned bright green and have had a chance to soften, add the rest of the broth and the beans, as well as the liquid from the beans.

Simmer for at least fifteen minutes, but you can really let this stuff go on low for hours. Like Grammy says, you can't overcook it.

Enjoy! Love, Grammy and Amy

A less soupy version makes for a great side dish.