The Changing of the Crops

A shift in crops at the Farmers' Market is a sure sign fall is upon us. Here are some favorites that I found at the market today.






I'm about to change out my garden as well, which is something I've never done in the fall. So far I have chard, collards, lettuce and beets in the line up. What else do you like to grow in the fall?

Tips on how to get better pictures of your food

The first tip is obvious, but it's important enough to repeat: use natural lighting whenever possible. If that means taking your dinner outside to take its picture before you eat it, then do it. If you'd like to shoot a dish at a restaurant, request a table near a window. Try your darndest not to use the automatic flash on the front of your camera. This creates harsh, unflattering light for your food. And no one wants to eat harsh, unflattering light.

Plain old fruit salad becomes a great picture when taken outside and up close.

Set your camera on something or use a small tripod if your lighting isn't ideal so your picture stays very sharp. I personally don't have a small tripod in my pocket at all times (innuendo? not sure.), so I usually just put my camera on top of a glass or some such thing to keep it steady.

If macro is a feature on your camera, use it. The closer you get to the food, the better the shot usually looks. Try to get the most interesting part in focus. It's okay, and often desirable, to have the other parts slightly out of focus--i.e., go with a shallow depth of field.

If you have a slightly fancy camera and you like pushing buttons, try lowering the f-stop to get an even more shallow depth of field.

Even Red Beans and Rice (almost) look perrrdy using the shallow depth of field trick!

Just keep trying. The more you practice taking pictures of food, the better you'll get!

Cheers!

Spend your money on beer, not salsa!

I know this isn't a picture of salsa, I just wanted to use it because my cat is up to no good in the background. Anyway, on with the salsa!

A friend of mine (Shout out to APB!) handed down this easy salsa recipe years ago, and I haven't bought salsa since. Okay, that's a lie. But I only rarely buy it.

Here's What You're Gonna Need:
(all measurements are "about...")

1 big clove of garlic, smashed
1 jalapeno (seeds and ribs in or out--it's up to you!), diced
1 small green chile, diced*
a palmful of cilantro
2 cups of diced tomatoes* (A smaller tomato like Roma works best. Scoop out seeds.)

*If you don't have fresh tomatoes and chiles, you can also use a can of diced tomatoes with chiles, or just leave the chile out.

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:

Put all of the ingredients together and either use a stick blender on it like I do, or pulse it in the food processor. THE END. It's really that easy. Why would you ever buy salsa again???

For a lighter salsa, try adding lime (garlic optional here) or, for a smokier taste, substitute a chile in adobo for the jalapeno.

Great Grains deserve Great Dressing

For an easy dressing for farro, quinoa, or barley salad, whisk together the following:

1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 Tbs dijon mustard
1/4-1/2 tsp salt
a few grinds of pepper

Pair this dressing with any cold or room temperature grain (already cooked) for a great side or even a main course. This salad also packs well for picnics. I tossed the dressing with quinoa, green beans, black olives and feta for the salad pictured above. Red, yellow, or green bell peppers, peas, cherry/grape tomatoes, and artichokes also work well with grains. If you have any other combos you like to use with your grains, please let me know!

Speaking of caterpillars...

Look what I found munching on my tomato plant!


It is, of course, now in a container on my counter where, for the past five days, it has been fed a steady diet of tomato branches mostly because I am fascinated by how much the thing can eat--and how quickly it goes to town on those leaves. As a result of his steady gorging, Mr. Hookworm is ginormous. I almost fear for my cat.

Shall we name him? Any suggestions? I kind of like Captain Hookworm...

The far reaching effects of half-assed vegetarianism on my children

My three-year-old made this at preschool:

AWESOME.

Strawberries on the rocks-with cucumber this time.

Seeing as how I declared it Strawberry Month at Half-Assed Vegetarian, you'd think I'd have posted more strawberry related recipes by now--but no. This 5% because I'm lazy and 95% because I keep drinking all of the strawberries before I can make non-alcoholic things with them. I've gone picking twice and baked once (and it was a no-bake pie). You do the math.
Here's a recipe for another delicious drink you can sip on while I go picking for a third time and come up with something else to write about. Bonus: This drink contains a fruit AND a vegetable,* so I'm pretty sure that means it's good for you. Do your body a great service and drink one (or four) today!

Photo by Shoot Me Pretty

Strawberry, Cucumber and Gin Cocktail

Here's What You're Gonna Need:
2-3 strawberries
2-3 slices of cucumber

1 jigger of gin (1.5ish oz or a shot and a half)
1/2 shot lime juice (1 oz)
1/2 shot agave (1 oz) (if you don't have agave, go with simple syrup)

club soda

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:

Put the strawberries and cucumber slices in the bottom of the shaker and muddle / smash the heck out of them. Go ahead and get some aggression out. I don't think you can over-muddle here.

Add gin, lime juice, agave and shake shake shake. If possible, let this stand for a few minutes so all of the flavors can really mix with the gin. If you can't hold off, then by all means, carry on immediately, but it'll be even more rockin' if you wait.

Add a couple of ice cubes to this good time and shake it vigorously again. Strain the resulting awesomeness over ice and top with club soda. Stir and drink up!

Warning: This drink is crazy good, really refreshing and doesn't taste very alcoholy, so watch it on the consumption buddy. Ol' Half-Assed Vegetarian learned this the hard/fun way.
--
*Okay, technically a cucumber is a fruit, not a vegetable. Drink it anyway.
--
Here's a very useful drink measurement chart I found: http://www.drinksmixer.com/guide/1-4-1.php
Just thought I'd share.

No Bake Strawberry Pie (aka Eat It With Your Face Strawberry Pie)

Here's What You're Gonna Need:

3/4 cup sugar
1 Tbs corn starch
2 TBS lemon juice
1 1/2 cups water

3 oz package of strawberry Jello

1 quart fresh strawberries, sliced (you really can't use frozen here-it'll fall apart)

1 baked pie crust (9 in deep or 10 in regular)

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:

Combine sugar, cornstarch, lemon juice and water in a saucepan and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat, stir, and cook until it gets a little thick (5ish) minutes-keep stirring!

Add the jello and stir until it dissolves. Allow it all to cool at room temp.

When the filling has cooled, stir the strawberries in.


Filling goes in the crust, and the whole pie goes in the fridge to set for at least six hours or overnight.

When it's time to eat the pie...

Apply copious amounts of whipped cream.



And then eat with your face.


Now that's a happy ending.

Strawberries...on the rocks.

First things first. May is strawberry month here at Half-Assed Vegetarian, and what better way to kick it off than with a cocktail? We made this one when we get home from picking... and many times since. Come to think of it, I'm not sure I've been drinking anything else.

Strawberry, Basil & Gin Cocktail

(lightly modified from Monica's wonderful recipe at allrecipes.com)

Here's What You're Gonna Need:

2 strawberries (if they're still fresh, use some that got a little mushed along the way)
2 fresh basil leaves
1/2 pony jigger blue agave (I think that's about 1/2 oz) or teaspoons of white sugar
1 jigger gin (about 2 oz), our favorite is Quintessential gin
1 pony jigger fresh lemon juice (1 oz), optional
3 fluid ounces chilled club soda, or whatever tops your glass, but don't water this drink down too much--it's best if you can really taste the strawberries and basil.

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:

Put the strawberries and basil leaves in a cocktail shaker and muddle (smash) the heck out of them. You can't over do it here. If you're using white sugar instead of agave, muddle that, too.

If you're going with agave, add it now, along with the gin and lemon juice. Add ice to the shaker and shake shake shake. Again, you can't over do it with the shaking. The more you do it, the colder your drink is going to be.

Strain over ice, top with club soda, and stir. If you're fancy like my husband, you can add a little strawberry basil flair to the side of the glass. If you're just thirsty like me, drink up!

May is Strawberry Month at Half-Assed Vegetarian!

It's strawberry pickin' time, folks! Here are a few tips for how to get the most out of your strawberry picking experience.

1. Bring your children so you have someone to smash the strawberries. Make sure they are slathered in sunscreen and dressed in ridiculous outfits, preferably ones that will showcase strawberry stains.
2. Don't forget the jewlery.

3. Bring your own baskets. This way you can make sure they 1) match your outfit, and 2) are of the kind that the most conducive to stabbing and crushing your berries, as well as awkwardly shaped so as to maximize their tipping over capabilities.

4. Sample, sample, sample.

5. Take at least one horridly cheesy strawberry related photo.



Sort, but DO NOT WASH your berries as soon as you get home. The berries should go in three separate containers:

In good shape, slightly bruised so eat soon, and mortally wounded/stabbed and bleeding so use today or forever hold your peace. Line the bottom of the latter two containers with paper towels so the berries don't sit in their own berry goup. We'll deal with these three piles in the upcoming weeks, so get out there and pick some berries! Plus, send me your strawberry picking photos and I'll post them throughout the month.

Cold Quinoa Salad: Easy to Pack, Fun to Say

I make up a decent sized batch of quinoa at the beginning of the week (usually on oatmeal day) and have enough to have this salad for lunch over the next couple of days. It keeps well for about five days--I haven't had enough to push this experiment to the limit because there's never any left after that long, though I'd be interested in seeing how long it takes before it starts walking on its own... Anyway, rock the quinoa early on in the day so it has time to cool before lunch.

Here's What You're Gonna Need:
1 cup quinoa
1 can (low sodium, if possible) vegetable broth

1 can garbanzo beans / Ceci beans / chick peas, however you say it in your neck of the woods
3 stocks celery, chopped
3 carrots, chopped
(prep time built in)

spring mix / baby lettuce, optional

flax seed
balsamic vinegar
extra virgin olive oil, optional
hard boiled egg, optional

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:

Bring vegetable broth to a boil in a medium pot. While you're waiting for that to happen, rinse and drain quinoa.

Plop clean quinoa into the pot of boiling broth, knock the heat down to medium low, and put a lid on it. Simmer for 11 minutes while chop the celery and carrots.

When the time's up, remove the pot from the heat, keep the lid on and let it hang out for about 5 minutes to finish absorbing the liquid. After five minutes whisk the lid off, and fluff the quinoa with a fork. If it's close-ish to lunch time, take out a bowl of however much you're going to eat today and either set it on the counter or in the fridge to cool. You can let the rest cool down on it's own and then store it in a Tupperware container in the fridge.

Assembly time!
1. salad greens, optional
2. quinoa
3. mix in a little balsamic
4. hard boiled egg, optional
5. carrots and celery
6. more balsamic vinegar and olive oil, if you want it
7. flax seed
8. Ta da! You're full of fiber, omega 3s, and complete protein. Now aren't you smart?

Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal with Steel Cut Oats

I recently found out that although my mother enjoys steel cut oats, she fears making them because they're sticky, fussy, have a knack for boiling over, and take forty-seven days to make. These are common fears among the oat eating populace, but it doesn't have to be that way! Rise up, friends, face your fears, and go for this half an hour non-fussy version of steel cut oats. You will survive. And you'll have a fabulous breakfast packed with protein, fiber, iron and other awesome things that will give you super powers such as x-ray vision and the ability to fly.* We're going to make a big batch so you'll only have to do it twice a week. (And by "it" I mean make oatmeal. You can do the other "it" as many times a week as you want. I'm not here to judge, just to make oats. And by "make oats" I mean have sex.)



Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal with Steel Cut Oats


Here's What You're Gonna Need:

1 cup of steel cut oats (if gluten is a concern, check to make sure the oats are certified gluten free)
3 cups of water

2 medium apples (red or green)
1/2-1 tsp cinnamon
a splash of vanilla extract (1/4ish tsp)

For individual servings (optional):
brown sugar
milled flax seed (Adds fiber, omega 3s, a little extra protein and a lovely nutty flavor. Do it!)
slivered almonds


And Here's What You're Gonna Do:

Bring three cups of water to a boil. Add oats and a small pinch of salt. Reduce the heat to medium-medium low (you want a low simmer, not an oatmeal volcano). Do not cover. Cook for about 20 minutes. Stir your oatmeal whenever you get the gumption to so so it doesn't stick.

While you're waiting on your oatmeal, work on the apples. Peel and dice apples into small pieces. Put them in a small pot with a couple of tablespoons of water. Add cinnamon and vanilla extract, slap a lid on it, and put it over high heat until the water comes to a boil. This won't take long. Cut the heat, keep the lid on, and let the apples steam for 5-10 minutes, or until desired state of firmness / mushiness is reached. You can also do this step in the microwave

After 20 minutes, take the oatmeal off of the heat, put the lid on, and let it hang out for at least five minutes or whenever it is you get hungry.

Heap today's serving in a bowl, stir in brown sugar (optional) and milled flax seed, top with apples and almonds and enjoy!

The rest of the oatmeal and apples will keep in the fridge for a couple of days. Reheat your oatmeal in the microwave--I usually add a splash of half and half before nuking. Now that wasn't so bad, was it?

*ability to fly not guaranteed.

What I did with my earnings: Mediterranean Farro Salad

This was my first venture into the world of farro, so this recipe is based on and lightly adapted from Giada De Laurentiis's farro salad. Giada's recipe supposedly made 6 side servings, but my husband and I found it to be more like 4.

Here's What You're Gonna Need:
1 1/2 cups of farro (the grain, not the Egyptian ruler--that wouldn't be vegetarian)
1 tsp of kosher salt + another 1/2 tsp for dressing

8 oz green beans

1 red bell pepper, cut into 1-2 in strips

1/4 cup red wine vinegar (or a mix of red and white wine vinegars)
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 Tbs dijon mustard
black pepper

8+ oz pitted black olives (use the whole can if you want to)
1 small bunch of chives, snipped with scissors until you get tired of snipping them with scissors (I made it through about 3/4 of the bunch)
as much crumbled feta as your heart desires (but at least 4 oz)


And Here's What You're Gonna Do:

Bring 4 cups of water and farro is a boil in a medium saucepan. Cover, turn the heat down to medium low, and simmer for 20 mins. Lift the lid and add 1 tsp of kosher salt. Slap the lid back on, and finish simmering until farro is tender, about another 10 mins. Drain farro and put it in a big bowl to cool on the counter. Transfer it to the fridge after about 10 mins or so to finish cooling.

While the farro is chillin', get everything else ready. Boil or steam the green beans for 2 minutes, then give them an ice water bath to stop them from cooking any further-you want them to be crisp for the salad. Drain the green beans and add the red peppers to their bowl. Set aside and make the dressing.

In a small bowl whisk together the vinegar, olive oil, dijon mustard and a few grinds of pepper (about a tsp) and the other 1/2 tsp of salt.

Add green beans, red peppers, and black olives to the chilled farro. Snip chives into the bowl. Bring the feta into the mix, top the whole shabang with the dressing, and gently stir to thoroughly combine all of the ingredients. Although it's highly doubtful there will be anything remaining, this salad holds up well for lunch the next day.

Will Work For Food

After Christmas I started picking up kids to watch for a little extra money. The most recent addition to my child-stable came from a woman who makes savory and sweet pies for a living. Instead of using her talent for good though, this woman chose to wield her awesome baking skills against me. When we met she was all, hi, this is my kid and look I brought a sack of baked goods! Y’all, there were doughnut holes in there. Homemade doughnut holes. Along with a chocolate pastry thingamabob that gave me an orgasm when I ate it at Barnes and Noble, which was awkward because I was in the kids’ section but hey, they need to learn sooner or later what a proper pastry can do to a woman so it was better I showed them in a controlled setting than them learning it in the streets, right? (Yet again proving that I am the most responsible care giver of all time and totally worth every penny.) Plus there were these thingies that were stuffed with homemade sausage and a big ol’ Stromboli. And she left me with her child, and her sack of baked goods, and went off to find a dress.

My new employer waited until she knew I was under the spell of her doughnuts and Steve and the kids would have a chance to experience her homemade sausage before talking money.
Here’s how her Jedi mind game went down:

Her: Will you work for sausages?
Me: Ummm, I don’t really eat things made out of ground animals, but yes, yes I will.

Her: How about what you usually charge an hour minus 30% plus a random sack of baked goods?
Me: Done.

And now here’s me paying the bills:

Here's what I was paid in the following week:

Not pictured because they were eaten before they made it to the photoshoot: one stromboli, a chocolate thing that didn’t stand a chance, nine pigs in a blanket, further doughnuts.

My favorite yet was last week's booty: coffee, funky grains, polenta and... pudding. Awesome.

Arrr! Mostly pirated Red Beans and Rice

This was my first go at red beans and rice, so I worked off Alton Brown's recipe. Here it is, with a few modifications and limited commercial interruptions.

Note: It takes a while for red beans and rice to cook, so be sure to plan ahead. Give it at least 2 1/2 hours from start to finish.

Here's What You're Gonna Need:

For red beans:

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 onion, chopped
2 green bell peppers, or mix of orange, yellow and green chopped (I buy a bag of already cut
mixed colored bell peppers at Trader Joe's and keep them in my freezer. They're especially
handy in the winter months, when peppers are expensive.)
3-4 stalks celery, chopped
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

6 cloves garlic, minced

1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon hot sauce
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 quarts water
1 pound red kidney beans, rinsed and with any gross things picked out

For rice:

3 cups water
1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter (or butter-like whatever it is vegan's use-or skip it)
2 cups long-grain rice, white for the real experience, brown for well-being
1/2 to 1 teaspoon kosher salt

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:

Heat vegetable oil over medium-high in a good-sized pot or Dutch oven.

Add the onion, bell pepper, celery, salt and pepper to the pot. Cook, stirring early and often, until the onions and celery are semi-translucent and the bell peppers are tender, about 6-8 minutes.

Add the garlic and cook for 2-3 minutes, stir, stir, stirring.

Bay leaf, thyme, hot sauce, cayenne pepper, water and beans into the pot! Turn up the heat a little so you can get this bad boy boiling. Stir, stir, stir.

Once it's boiling, turn the heat down to medium-low, cover and simmer for about an hour and a half, stirring every once and a while.

It's rice time! Here's how Alton Brown does it, but you can always give the rice a little go in the butter then make it like you usually do. Don't forget to adjust the timing if you're going with brown rice.
Place the water into an electric kettle and bring to a boil. While the water is coming to a boil place the butter into a 3-quart saucepan, set over medium heat. Once the butter begins to bubble, add the rice and stir to combine. Add the salt and cook for 2 to 3 minutes, stirring frequently. Carefully pour the water over the rice and stir to combine. Decrease the heat to the lowest setting, cover, and cook for 15 to 20 minutes.

When the time's up for the beans, take the lid off and, if necessary, turn the heat up a little to keep it simmering. Let it go for another 30-40 minutes or until the beans are tender and the sauce is thickened.

Give it a couple of mashes with a potato masher, but don't go overboard.

Rice goes on the bottom, beans go on top, and wha la! We served it with a side of grilled shrimp seasoned with old bay.

Today's photo taken was taken by Kelly of www.ShootMePretty.com, coming soon. If she can shoot Red Beans and Rice pretty, than she can shoot anything pretty.

Rewrite of Sweet Potato and Black Bean Quesadilla recipe: Now with measurements! Plus idiotic photos of talking potatoes taken by me!

Portobello and Spinach Penne

Portobello and Spinach Penne
serves about 4

Here's What You're Gonna Need:

3-4 cloves of garlic, smashed and minced
1 tsp red pepper seeds (less if you're a wimp)

16 oz portobello mushroom caps (about 4 large caps), cut in half and sliced thin (gills on or off, your call)
2 tsp dried basil (we'll rock this fresh come spring and I'll let you know the adjustment)
12 oz fresh spinach (baby spinach or big leaves torn up to look like the heads of presidents)

4 Tbs butter
1/4 cup all purpose flour
2 cups milk (skim or 2% -- Cream or half and half is delicious and a convenient and mess-free way to off someone via heart attack. But you didn't hear that here.)
3 Tbs soy sauce
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

10-12 oz. whole grain or "Plus" penne
salt & pepper to taste
grated Parmesan, optional

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:
Don't be afraid of the lengthy instructions--it's not as complicated as it looks.

Preheat the oven to 350. Salt your pasta water and get it boiling.

Get yourself a big ass pan with a lid. Saute the garlic and red pepper seeds in a couple of table spoons of extra virgin olive oil over medium low heat for about 2-3 minutes, or until garlic starts to speak (preferably in a deep and sultry voice). Don't burn it or let it turn brown--we're just trying to flavor the oil here.

Add portobellos and basil, and allow the mushrooms to get soft and give up some of their moisture-about 3 minutes. You can use a little more olive oil here if you need to.


Add spinach to the pan in fist fulls, tossing in the oil and mushrooms as you go. Once the spinach is coated, knock the heat down to low, put the cover on the pot, and let it sit for five or ten minutes while you pour yourself a glass of wine and gather the other ingredients and get your penne cooking. You want it to come out al dente. I take mine off one minute before the instructions on the package say to.

Once the spinach is wilted, transfer the mushroom and spinach mixture to a holding bowl while you rock the sauce. You don't need to wash your pan, just get the big pieces of mushrooms and spinach out.

Back to the pan! The butter goes in over medium low heat. Once it's melted, whisk in the flour until it's smooth and golden brown. Slowly add the milk and continue to whisk so it starts to thicken. Stir in the soy sauce, then the cheese. Let it all melt and give it a couple of good stirs.

Put the pasta back in the pan with the cheese sauce. Stir in the mushroom and spinach mixture. Give it a taste and season with salt and pepper if you would like to do so. Mine was good as is.


Transfer everything to a lightly greased 9x13 baking dish. Top with grated parm if you would like to, then put it in the oven for 20 minutes. Eat and be glad.

Lentil Soup: Low Fat, Full of iron, Cheaper than a piece of Bazooka Joe*

Lentil Soup: Low Fat, Full of iron, Cheaper than a piece of Bazooka Joe*

*After a minimal amount of research, I have found this statement to be a lie. While lentil soup is low in fat, reasonably high in iron, and cheap as hell to make, it is not, in fact, cheaper than a piece of Bazooka Joe, which you can buy a 275 piece tub of for $11.99 online. The calculator on my phone tells me that's .04 cents per piece of gum (.07 cents each after shipping and handling). Come to think of it, maybe you should scrap the lentils and have Bazooka Joe for dinner. It would be the economically responsible thing to do. Plus it comes with a comic under the wrapper. A bag of lentils does not.

Lentil Soup

Here's What You're Gonna Need:
Prep time is built into this lazy recipe, so there's no need to get it all ready before you begin.

1 large onion, chopped
3 large (or 5ish medium) cloves of garlic, smashed and minced

3 large carrots, chopped
3 large celery stocks (you can use the leaves as well if you want to)

6+ cups of vegetable broth, depending on how soupy you like your lentils. Six cups will make your lentils more like a meal than a soup, which is how my family likes it.
1 15oz can of diced (or petite diced, if you have them) tomatoes--do not drain
16 oz (or whatever a bag is) of lentils
salt and pepper, to taste

8oz frozen chopped spinach, optional
cooked spaghetti noodles, optional
crushed red pepper, optional

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:

At the bottom of a big pot saute the onion and garlic in a tablespoon or two of olive oil on medium low heat for about 3 minutes, or however long it takes you to chop your carrots and celery.

Kick the heat down to low, add carrots and celery, put the lid on the pot and let it sweat while you hunt down the rest of your ingredients (or for about 5 minutes, if you're the organized pantry type). Thoroughly rinse your lentils in a colander.

Add the vegetable broth, diced tomatoes with whatever juice is in the can, and lentils to the pot. Bring it all to a low boil, put the lid on the pot, turn down the heat, and let it simmer for at least 30 minutes (you can let it go for longer on low).

Adding spinach to this recipe changes things up a little and ups the iron content, which, as we all know, will result in muscles exactly like those of post canned spinach Popeye. So pretty much what I'm saying is if someone named Bluto is bullying you or if you have one eye and smoke a corncob pipe or you're just plain a smart person, you should add the spinach. If you're going to follow my impeccable logic, add the spinach before you put the lid on the pot to simmer.

My mama always put spaghetti noodles in her lentil soup, so I put them in mine and I suggest you do the same, especially if you're having lentils as a main dish. Stir in maybe a third of a box of broken up spaghetti (already cooked) before serving. Season with hot pepper seeds to add a little kick.

This recipe makes enough for dinner for four, with leftovers to freeze or have for lunch throughout the week. Now go spend the money you just saved on lottery tickets and rollerskates.

Chiles (and socks) Stuffed with Quinoa and Corn

Quinoa isn't only fun to try to pronounce, it's great to stuff in stuff as well. Take, for example, socks and peppers. Quinoa makes a great substitute for meat in any stuffed pepper recipe, and who wouldn't find it funny to stick their foot in a sock only to find it's already full of quinoa? You should probably test this theory tonight on your spouse/lover/partner/roommate/kid. Whatever you don't put in the sock use to stuff Anaheim chiles for this delicious recipe.

Chiles Stuffed with Quinoa and Corn
serves 2 as a main dish, 4 as a side.

Here's What You're Gonna Need:
4 large Anaheim chiles
1/2 cup (uncooked) quinoa
1/2 onion, diced
1 cup frozen corn
1 small can of tomato sauce
shredded low fat colby jack cheese

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:
Preheat oven to 350.

Prepare quinoa according to the directions on the package, substituting vegetable broth for water.

Meanwhile...
Saute the diced onion until translucent.

While that's cooking, cut the tops off of your chiles and make a slit down one of the broader slides. Don't cut all the way through the pepper--this is going to be your stuffing hole (tee hee). Note: Wash your hands after this step and do not, under any circumstances (including having Mothera land on your nose), wipe your hand across your face until you do so. My friend... Bamy, who writes a blog called... Alfhay Assedway Egetarianvay, did this and told me it was a bad idea.

Place the peppers in a casserole dish, slit side up. Fill with quinoa, onions and corn. Spoon tomato sauce on top of each pepper (you'll probably only use about half of the can. Reserve the rest to use on any extra quinoa). Sprinkle lightly with salt. Hold off on the cheese for now. Cover, and pop in the oven for 30 mins.

When the 30 minutes are up, remove those bad boys from the oven, top them with cheese, and put them back in the oven, uncovered, for another 10-15 minutes.

If you have any quinoa left over after all of the sock and pepper stuffing, you can top it with a little extra tomato sauce and nest the peppers on top of the quinoa to plate it. And now, once again, you look fancier than you are. You're welcome.

Winter Vegetables and Barley

Nothing funny or even remotely amusing happened in the making of this dish so I don't have a story for you, but it's really good so you should read the recipe and make it anyway. Old Man Winter (huh?) wants you to.

Winter Vegetables and Barley
(Okay, fine, green beans aren't a "winter vegetable," but you have to reach into the freezer to get them and that'll make your hand cold and wintery so in AmyLand they count.)

Here's What You're Gonna Need:

1 cup quick-cooking barley (uncooked)
1 big ol' butternut squash, cut into big bite sized in cubes*
6ish carrots, sliced into reasonable sized pieces for consumption
1 small onion (or 1/2 of a big one), chopped
2 cups frozen cut green beans
2 cans stewed tomatoes (don't drain them, but go at the tomatoes with a fork or a pair of scissors to break them up a little )
2 cloves garlic, smashed and chopped up
1 cup vegetable broth
a pinch of salt & pepper

*You can cut off the ends of this bad boy and just peel him with a good vegetable peeler. If you're of the peel-with-knife tribe, this chore will be easier for you if you steam the entire squash for about 2 mins (turn it so all sides get a taste of steam) then throw it in cold water before you peel it. This is loosen the skin up for you. To cube your squash, cut it in half down the middle, scoop out any seeds or stringy mess, then go about your slicing and dicing. Big pieces are okay here--maybe an inch or so.

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:
(pay attention, it's complicated)

Preheat oven to 375. Put everything in a big casserole dish or pyrex. Cover said dish and put it in the oven for a little over an hour,* or until your kitchen stabbing device stabs the squash and carrots with ease (start stabbing at an hour). Take it out, stir it up, and consume.

*Short cut: If you need your veggies and barley done a little sooner, steam the cut squash and carrots in a steam basket for about 10 mins while you're prepping everything else. This'll cut at least 20 mins off your bake time.

Cheddar Broccoli Quiche with Cornmeal Crust

Gluten Free Cheddar Broccoli Quiche with Cornmeal Crust

Want an egg dish for lunch or dinner? Well then step it up with this hearty quiche! Served with fruit, salad, and a bloody mary, it makes for a quick meal, especially if you make it ahead of time. It's also perfect to pack for lunch, but unless you have a really cool boss you're gonna want to put that bloody mary in a thermos.

Here's What You're Gonna Need:

Crust:
1 cup cornmeal
4 Tbs cold butter
1 egg, beaten
1/2 tsp water
Whatever seasonings your heart desires (salt, pepper, garlic powder, cayenne...)

Filling:
1/3ish cup finely chopped onion, lightly browned
frozen chopped broccoli (little pieces, not florets), thawed (eyeball the amount you want-likely 4-6oz)
3/4ish cup shredded cheddar cheese
4 eggs
2 cups 2% milk (skim, whipping cream, or half and half will work, too, depending on how much weight you're looking to gain via quiche)
salt, pepper, cayenne to taste (maybe 1/4ish teaspoon each)

And Here's What You're Gonna Do:
Get your onions browning then rock the crust first. Preheat the oven to 350.

Cut butter into small pieces and pulse it with the cornmeal and your seasonings in the food processor until it looks crumbish. If your mom didn't hand down her 1970s 300lb food processor to you and you haven't bought yourself one, you can use your hands and kind of pluck at it until it crumbishness happens.

Add 1/2 tsp water to the beaten egg and combine with the cornmeal mixture, either with your hands or by pulsing it in the blender. And now you have a lump of crust.

Pat the lump of crust into the bottom of a lightly greased (optional if you're going gluten-free and don't want to use cooking spray) pie or pastry pan and as far up the sides of the pan as it'll go. The crust should be thin.

Bake the crust for ten minutes or so before adding the filling.

While that's baking...
Beat eggs, whichever milk product you chose, and salt, pepper and cayenne together with a mixer. Finishing browning those onions and briefly nuke the broccoli if it's not thawed.

When your crust comes out of the oven, put a foil lined cookie sheet under it if you're prone to slopping stuff all over the place like myself. Add the onions, broccoli and cheddar cheese to the bottom of the crust. Pour in your egg mixture (it's okay if the eggs go above the crust, as long as it all stays in the pan) and put that bad boy in the oven.

Time is tricky on quiche. It can take up to an hour, but start stabbing it after about 40 minutes or so to check for doneness. Let your quiche cool on the counter for at least 20 minutes so it sets, or pop it in the fridge for up to 3 or 4 days. You can warm it for dinner or just eat it cold for lunch. Or go cold for dinner and warm for lunch if you want to be difficult.